Final Insanity X
by H.M. Victoria
Summary: The Final Fantasy X characters suddenly find themselves out of their square world and into the real one, ending up in a short girls Game Room--but is it really? Will they cope with their clones? Angry Fayth? New Chapter--Aeons Appear!
1. A Melted PS2, Tidus' Twin, and Chaos

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to own Final Fantasy Ten and the characters and want to put right here: "They're mine! ALL MINE~! MUWAHAHAHAHA!" I can't. *looks in savings jar* *fly buzzes around* SO, they currently belong to Squaresoft, but not until I get my hands on them! AND THAT MOOGLE! MUWAHAHAHA!  
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Listen to our story...Getting them back in is beyond our power...unfortunatly...*battles off hyper rikku*...  
...riiight.  
I sat at my computer reading the latest Final Fantasy FanFic from Fanfiction.net, when my brothers and their friends came charging up the stairs like the wild animals they are. I looked at them and rolled my eyes, thinking it was something they were just over reacting about. They seemed to do this a lot, and I've learned not to mind.   
"NOO! THE DOLL IS GONNA GET US! IT'S GONNA KILL US!" they screamed, and flew out the kitchen door.   
Sighing, I got up and went downstairs. I was suddenly in the mood for a game of Final Fantasy, and didn't want to be disturbed by the eivle little monsters called the brother units.   
I went down the stairs in my usual pounding fashion and headed straight for my ps2. Then, something out of the corner of my eye moved. Turning suddenly, I tripped on my brothers shoe. =Psh, just your imagination. You know this happens a lot.= So I continued to my game room for some hardcore FFX.  
  
I enter the room, and sniff.   
  
"Why does it smell like burnt plastic in here?" I asked myself, then I saw the smoking playstation.   
  
My eyes went wide with shock as my knees buckled and I tried to crawl over to the corner where my playstation lived.   
  
It was completely destroyed.   
  
Half of the machine was melted, and the disc drive was halfway out, with my FFX disc stuck in there.   
Finally regaining my walking ability, I practically crawled over to try and save my beloved game, maybe there was still hope!  
  
Forcing the drive open, I realized there wasn't. The disc was warped and mangled. I almost burst into tears, and then I got angry, about to kill my brothers for playing with my candles, matches, and my games again until I heard muffled screams from the closet:  
  
"Get your foot out of my face!!" a familiar voice exclaimed.   
  
This awakened curiousity in me, forgetting the beloved playstation2 I made my way over to the closet, tentively opening the doors.   
Then utter chaos befell upon me, I'm serious, it literarly fell on me!, and Kimahari, Rikku, Yuna, Lulu, Tidus, Wakka, AND Auron fell on top of me.  
I quickly got up and stared at the squaresoft characters that were in a pile on the floor. Lulu was looking like she was about to pop and kill someone, which is kinda normal, but not with wakka between her boobs smiling like an idiot; Tidus looked frumpled, but still a bish; Rikku looked really pissed off because Tidus' foot was in her face; Yuna was blushing for some strange reason, and holding her dress down; Kimahari was already up and in a corner, ready to kill anyone who put a hand on Yuna much less a finger; and Auron was drinking whatever was in that bottle of his that was always at his waist.   
  
Once again, my eyes went wide, and I totaly forgot about the mass of burnt rubber that was my ps2 and my final fantasy x disc, and only thought about how I now had Final Fantasy X characters in my game room.   
  
Finally one of them spoke:  
  
"Good job Yuna, that was a great hiding place!" Lulu said sarcastically as she disengaged Wakka from her over sized breasts. "I got a perv between my boobs and I lost my moogle!"  
"I-i'm sorry, everyone! I thought it would be bigger!" Yuna said, still blushing, and really really close to tears. I started to feel bad for the poor girl. She kinda had it tough, I mean one second she's a week away from defeating Sin, she's in love with this total ego freak, and then she's in someone's closet. By her own doing, I might add.   
"Tidus! You're foot is still in my face!!" Rikku screamed, her squeaky al bhed voice a bit muffled by Tidus' shoe.  
Tidus didn't hear her, or move his foot, he just looked around the room and exclaimed: "Man! Not another new world, and not even close to Zanarkand!"  
"Shut up you egotistical freak and move your foot!" Rikku screamed again.  
"WHERE'S MY MOOGLE!" Lulu yelled at Wakka, "You made me drop it IN THE FIRST PLACE!"  
I suddenly snapped back to my senses and screamed: "OH MY GOD! THERE ARE TWO ALECS!"  
  
That sure shut everyone up, and they stared at me like I had grown a second head. Kewl, I got attention.!  
"What's a...Alec?" Tidus cluelessly asked, finally moving his foot from Rikku's face, and standing up.   
I only stared in reply, and everyone got up onto their feet, even the drunk looking Wakka, and the I-blush-like-an-idiot Yuna. Auron just kept drinking.  
"Well, aren't you gonna tell us what an Alec is?" The still clueless Tidus asked.   
Right then, my 'I-look-so-much-like-Tidus-it's-scary' friend Alec in full Tidus garb walked through the door and cheerfully said: "Hey Tori, ready to go to--Who are these people?"  
  
Then Tidus turned around to meet his twin and said: "Whoa, I look great! I didn't know mirrors talked!"  
That's when I suddenly flew back to reality and yelled: "I've got to call Mary!" and dashed out of the room to my telephone, locking the door behind me, not knowing what chaos would erupt after I left.   
I picked up the warm plastic phone in my trembling hands and hastily called her number.  
  
"Hello?" she answered.  
"MARY! GET OVER HERE NOW! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NOT READY FOR THE CON! GET HERE RIGHT NOW!" I screamed, and hung up the phone, dashing back to the room where Rikku was flirting with Alec, Yuna didn't know which Tidus was which, Lulu still looking frantically for her moogle, and Wakka was bouncing my unhurt ps2 paddles on his knees. Auron was /i drinking.   
I suddenly had the impulse to poke Kimahari, just to see what it would do. I slowly walked over and raised my hand slowly...slowly...slowly...and then--"GO AWAY! KIMAHARI DON'T LIKE STUPID GIRLS!"...and I fell down. Then, everything went black.  
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Yah I know, that chapter was pretty stupid, but I'm in a bit of a writers block, so gomen nasai. Anyways, it'll get better once we find the moogle and Mary and David get over there, *I promise!* so just wait a bit. Please Reveiw! Arigatou!  
Victoria Crawford 


	2. Wakkaspeak, Al Bhed Insults, and Mary

disclaimer: *sobs* I still don't own FFX! But I do own myself!  
A/N-Wee! Chappy 2 is up! Hope you enjoy, am in a good mood today, so it'll be better. Remember, this is a humorous fic. I love all of the FFX Chars! I really do! It's just fun to say funny stuff that may insult them! R & R  
  
I woke up to the sight of who knows which Tidus' face grinning like a fool, and Yuna's worried one.   
  
For a second there, I felt a bit better. Least someone in this group of charaters cared--wait. Yuna cares for anyone and everyone. Even seymore! ...so, nevermind.  
  
God, my head hurt! Like someone had just whacked me with Tidus' sword, or Kimahari's breath.   
Then I remembered what happened.   
It WAS Kimahari's breath that knocked me out.   
  
I groaned and closed my eyes, the two still hovering over me.  
  
"Um...lady?" Tidus said as he poked my ear. I screamed and jumped up, whacking him over the head. "OW!" he yelled, and grabbed his the area that I whacked.  
"Oh c'mon, she didn't hit you that hard! Jecht was right about you, crybaby Tidus!" Auron yelled. Great. The fool was drunk.   
  
I took a quick head count. Auron the drunken fool, Yuna the blushing fool, Tidus the egotistical fool, Lulu the Moogle Luver, Wakka the Lulu luver, Kimahari the Stinky Breath kitty, Alec the twin of Tidus, and Rikku the swirly-hyper Al Bhed.  
  
"NOOOO! RIKKU! NOT MY PS1!" I screamed right as I saw Rikku disassembling my last game console.   
  
"Wow...you're machina are so advanced! I hope that Sin doesn't attack this place!" She replied. How oblivious can one blonde be?!  
  
My knees went weak again.   
And I fell to the ground, twitching.   
  
Then, Mary arrived.  
  
"KUPO!" she yelled as she entered the room, then dropped her bag as she saw the two Tidus' admiring eachother. "No...! NO WAY! MY NIGHTMARE HAS COME TRUE!!"  
Then she joined me on the floor twitching.   
Alec and Mary have hated eachother ever since the King and Queen incident last year, and Alec said the most horrifying line to her ever: "You can't hurt me because I'm so PRET-ty!"  
Now, Tidus and Alec made the worst mistake they could have ever made in their lifetime.  
  
At the same time they said: "She can't get up because I'm so PRET-ty!"  
  
Bad, BAD idea guys!  
  
Mary flew up, her eyes glowing red, and I ran behind her pulling on her arms, trying to keep her from going balistic. Unfortunatly, one little/short person isn't gonna work. Then Wakka came into play.  
  
"What's goin on, ya?" Wakka asked, in crazyful wakka speak*.   
  
Mary immediatly looked up and said: "Muffin?!" And ran over to poke Wakka. "Oh my gosh, it's wakka!"  
  
"I'm Wakka, ya. Now whadda ya want with me?" he asked, suddenly scared by this changed in mood in the new person.  
  
"You have a blitzball, ya?" Mary inquired in wakka-speak.  
  
"You speakin my language, man! Ya I do have a blitzball!"  
  
"Sweet, brudda, sweet."   
  
"You play?"   
  
"Never in my life."  
  
Goddess, she was as bad as I am! Then I returned to mourning over my lost Playstations. Ohhh... the Horror! The horror...! That little Al Bhed was going to get it...let's just see what happens when I play with HER machina, hm?   
  
Damn. There IS no machina here.   
  
Oh well, there's always the Mofia.   
  
Lulu all of a sudden figured out who I was. And decided to blame ME for the moogle.  
  
"IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT?! YOU STOLE MY PRECIOUS MOOGLE-BABY BECAUSE YOU WERE JELOUS OF MY VOODOO POWERS, HUH? AND BECAUSE I'M A GAURDIAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" She screamed in my face, her mouth starting to frothe at the edges and her eyes glowing more red than usual.   
  
So what this chick wanted was a yelling contest, eh? I accept!  
  
"I WOULDN'T BE TALKING, OH QUEEN OF PLASTIC SURGERY! I BET YOU'RE JUST PICKING ON ME BECAUSE I'M SHORT HUH? AREN'T YOU-YOU TALL PERSON YOU!" Wow, intelegent comeback Tori-chan, maybe you should just speak in Al Bhed to confuse her?   
Good idea self.   
"OUI'NA BINBMA BUUTMA DRD VMOC DU DRA SUUH AJANO VEJA TOC HT ADC LRAACA IB DRANA! OR, OUI BEHG BUHAO! E PAD DRA SUUH MUJAC ED FRAH OUI DINH ED BINBMA DUU! FEDR OUIN SKEL VENO TICD! OR! VENO!" I continued intelegently in Al Bhed. I felt so smart!  
  
Rikku burst out laughing at my remark. I didn't understand what was so funny about it, so I just continued screaming at the confused Lulu in al bhed.   
  
Soon enough I finished my al bhed rampage, and Lulu decided to pick on someone her own *coff* size.   
  
Tidus was bored. Or at least he looked it. For once in his life HE wasn't getting all the attention. Serves him right! "Star Player of the Zanarkand Abes"! All of a sudden he was next to me.   
  
"So you're from here right?" he questioned me all of a sudden.   
  
My eyes went wide and I looked at him like HE had grown a second head.   
  
"No, I just live here," I replied. I am such a smart ass.   
  
"So you're from Spira too? I thought we were the first!" Tidus cluelessly continued.   
  
"You are an idiot. Lu was right," I informed him.  
  
"Well, when we get back to spira and make ourselves at home, you wanna check out my moves?"   
  
"PERV! NO way! Quit it or Yuna knows all about what you did with those Guados and what you have just done!" I threatened.   
  
"NO! Don't tell Yuna! Please!" He quivered.   
  
"Get on your knees, slave!" Oh man, I had always wanted to say that line!  
  
I didn't expect him to do what I said--but he did it.   
  
Whoa. I feel the power!  
  
I cackled and walked away before he could figure out that the Guado thing was made up.   
  
Stupid Tidus, I can't wait to see what will happen when David gets here!  
  
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yay! I was hyper when I wrote this! Well..not too hyper or it would make no sense, but minorly hyper!  
  
Muwahahaha! Now you have to reveiw! WITH SPONGES! ...Well, maybe not, but reveiw anyway! 


	3. Caffine! Another person! YAY!

Disclaimer: Well, I tried to buy Final Fantasy X with cheese and pizy stiz, but they wouldn't accept it. I think they're just crazy, I mean, who would pass up the offer of cheese and pizy stiz...Well, come to think of it...  
  
By the way, I still don't own FFX. :( NOO! MUST OWN MOOGLE!!  
  
A/N: YAY! I GOTS REVEIWS!! *huggles all reveiwers* *sends all a zillion pizy stiz* You guys rock! Stay hyper and insane! WEEE! *hopes this is a better chapter*...Oh, and I forgot to mention it before, I am the worlds worst speller, so if something's all screwy and you don't know what it is, then you can always ask. Once again, I love all the characters, I really do! It's just great fun to poke at them and stuff. I have nothing agaisnt Lulu, I promise!  
  
-I knew today was going to be strange,- I thought. Not only did squaresoft charecters show up in my home, but I had an anime convention in fifteen minutes, the people who were supposed to be here, hadn't arrived yet, and I STILL didn't know who to be.   
  
Delemmia, delemmia.   
  
Then, I found my whacky stick, and felt like hitting Tidus with it just to pass the time...to help myself "think".   
  
"TORI!! AUUGH IT HURTS! MY HAIR!!" Alec screamed as I started to hit him.   
  
Whoops, wrong one.  
  
"Eheh, sorry Alec, thought you were someone else," I apologized and moved on to the real Tidus.  
  
Right as I was about to start my thinking activity, Yuna just had to butt in:  
  
"NULHIT!" she yelled, and Tidus was surrounded by a nifty swirly thingy.   
  
I stared at Yuna.   
  
A. I didn't know she could do that.  
  
B. NOOOOOO! MY WHACKYNESS!  
  
I'll slap her upside monday next time I have the chance.   
  
"YUNA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed as I crumbled to the floor, once again. This day was not good for me. I lost both of my playstations, I hadn't gotten my hug yet, AND there goes all my whack Tidusness.   
  
Great. Just. Great.   
  
All Mary did was continue to poke Wakka saying: "Blitzball...." over and over again. Lulu just kept looking for her moogle, giving suspicious glaces towards Mary and I. And AURON. AURON JUST KEPT DRINKING THAT UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE IN THAT JUG!   
  
I'll shoot him at some point.  
  
Rikku somehow got the bright idea that all the stuff in my house was avaliable for sale, or that she could take it all and I would be perfectly fine with it.   
  
Next thing you know, Rikku has my TV in her hands. "Hey, girl, how much is this machina? 10,000 gil?"   
  
I looked up at her, and my face lost all of it's color then suddenly flushed red--angry red.   
  
You'll get it little Al Bhed Chick, just wait until I have the moogle in MY hands.   
  
I opened my mouth to scream at her when it was covered by a very large and very furry hand.  
  
Out of conditioned reflex I bit it, not knowing anything of who the hand belonged to or what the concequences would be. I simple sunk my teeth into the flesh to be rewarded with a terrible growl.   
  
Disengaging my hand, I slowly turned around to see a very angry Kimahri. A very PURPLE Kimahri. Crap. I knew that hand tasted familiar.   
  
Not knowing what else to do, I ran. Straight into David who fell right to the ground immediatly curling into his defensive ball.   
  
Kimahri, who had been hot on my tail, just looked in fear at this odd new person who had strange blue bottles in his hands that were labled BAWLS. Mary, who had been following us along with the rest of the Squareys saw the Bawls and jumped on the caffine.   
  
Tidus scratched his head, Tidus2 said: "Hi Davy!" and flirted with Rikku, Yuna just sat there, Lulu was looking around seeing if there were any other places a moogle can hide, Auron was actually done with his jug, but now he was incrediably drunk and passed out on my floor, Rikku was just there, and Wakka kept calling me an Al Bhed because of all of the "machina" I have.   
  
The Kitty gave me a warning look and I stuck my tounge out at him as he retreated to the nearest corner. The battle would continue later after the new person was deemed a threat or not. Fine by me, I'll just use my whacky stick.   
  
I helped David to his feet as he looked at all of the Final Fantasy creatures with a blank face.   
  
"Good job, Tori, they're real convincing this time. Wonder what prize they'll get at the con," He said simply.   
  
Then Tidus started his little speech again. "I'm Tidus, star play of the Zanarkand Abes! Know anywhere I can play blitzball?"  
  
Bah! Egostitical little...*incoherent curses*  
  
"Whoa, they even SOUND like the people from it!" David exclaimed, "How much did you pay 'em? 300? 700?"   
  
Like I have that money. "No, I didn't pay them..see what happened is--"  
  
"They came from the ps2!" Mary screamed, "Dun dun DUN!!" She was obviously done with the caffine. "And I want my car back."  
  
I just nodded in agreement, and dived for the other bottle of bawls on the floor handing it back to him.   
  
David just gave me a confused look, "'They came from the ps2'?"   
  
"Yep, and now it's all melted and ruined and crap. It's all their fault I say, but noooo..." Mary elaborated.   
  
By this time, the square people were bored with the new person and had gone off to explore MY room now. I suddenly got really really scared. Lulu was probably buldozing everything in sight in search of her moogle, wakka was probably bouncing my japanese lanterns around, Rikku taking apart my precious stereo, and Auron was probabling spewing all over my bathroom.   
  
Fortunatly Tidus, Tidus2, and Yuna were still here or it would have been more chaotic.   
  
I gave David a quick hug, and then dashed into my room to see what was happening.  
  
BOOYASHKA! I GOT IT RIGHT! $2 MILLION TO ME! Wait...that's a BAD thing isn't it?  
  
That day was also extremely rare because I had actually cleaned my room.  
  
I just turned around and went back into the hall.   
  
That's when I heard a "KUPO!" from behind Mary. MOOGLE! ^º^  
  
David just stared at Mary like she had grown a tail and devil horns. I just laughed, "Better hide that before Lulu catches you with it, or--"   
  
Right then, Lulu came out of my room with my teddy bear in the crook of her arm, "I couldn't find my Moogle, so I'm taking this. kay? Kay." and walked back into the game room.   
  
"WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!! IS IT BECAUSE I'M SHORT?!" I screamed.   
  
"Yep." Mary replied and walked to my room to poke Wakka somemore.   
  
GYAHHH!  
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
Hello my little peoples!   
  
DClick--yesh, I was soooo uber hyper when I wrote those. Am sorry they are misspelled, my translator sucks. Sorry I made you log in, but I don't like annonomous reveiws. Sorry!!  
  
Aseku-- See, I don't HATE Lulu, she's just the best one to make fun of! Along with Tidus. Muwahahaha! And, I like your little non-talky friend. He ish nifty.   
  
Ala-- YAY! YOU REVEIWED!! *bows down to the great one* *gives cheese* Yah, am trying to keep the people down...Alec ish leavin the group soon, so I will have a lot less to manage...am not sure if he's going to be takin Rikku with him or not, but oh well.  
  
*gives all reveiwers tons and tons of pixy stix* THANK YOU! Keep reveiwing!!  
  
BTW, sorry this is so uber late. Hehe...^^;; 


	4. Hostile Takeover Hi, I'm mary

HAHAHAHAH! *evil laugh* GUESS WHO THIS IS, READERS?!?! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAH! IT IS NONE OTHER THAN THE WAKKA-OBSESSED, MOOGLE STEALING, TIDUS HATING (Got it yet? if you dont you haven't been reading very observently...) MARY! Yeah, I'm crashing at Tori's house and I STOLE HER CHAIR! Once again, I rule her computer! *does a dance* Well, I decided to not only take over her chair, but her fanfci as well! GET READY FOR INSANE MADNESS. well, thats not like, a really big change but....but....um....come back to me....  
  
Tori: Dammit Mary, for the last time I don't want you breaking into my house!  
  
Mary: I swear! I dont know how that broken window got there! I was just conveniently walking outside when it broke! so i helped myself in....Anyways!  
  
MUWAHAHAHAH! You guys are like, so in for it now!  
  
Mary2: (this is my subconcious. I argue with myself a lot) In for what? You don't make sense...  
  
Mary: *clenches fist* YOU SHUDDAP NOW! I KNOW I DONT MAKE SENSE! THATS THE POINT! *walks away to try and steal some of Tori's stuf*  
  
Tori: NOO! My fire!! *runs after & saves zippo* *returns to computer*  
  
Mary: Well, now you're going to see about, 5 minutes of events happen from MY POINT OF VIEW! That means in my twisted mind! *runs around* Heh. OH! AND UNLIKE TORI, I DO own Final Fantasy! *evil grin* I mean well, sure I do! Well....*squaresoft police pop-up* OH CRAP! GOTTA GO!  
  
*runs away*  
  
-----  
  
Well, hello. Who are you again? Whatever. My name's Mary, and today I'm going to tell you about my normal everyday day that's happening today, yeah, on this day. Get it? Got it? no? GOOD!  
  
Well, I like saying well alot! So, I'm sitting here, when all of a sudden these annoying people run into Tori's room!  
  
"Yes, Tori, it's ALWAYS because your short!" I know it's mean, but I love teasting her about that. So,I walk over and lean on top of her head, like and arm rest. She's not too happy about that. I laugh evily, like I always do.  
  
"So, you know that they're touching your stuff, right?" I ask her, staring into her room, just. JUst staring.  
  
"Shuddap." Tori pushes my arm off and walks into her room, determined to stop the little Al Bhed from ruining her stereo.   
  
"Hi there David. Whaaaaaaaaaat's happening?" I stare down at David, who is still in his self-defense mode, ya know, a funky little ball on the ground. "Daivd, they're gone. You can get up now."  
  
David peers out, looks up at me, and the curls tighter into his ball. I can't blame him. I don't whack and abuse him a lot. *evil grin*  
  
"C'mon, Tori needs you to confuse people, k?" I pull him up and start pushing him towards her room.  
  
"But that's yourt job! You are confused, and cunfusing. You do that." David starts arguing with me. We always argue XD.  
  
"Exactly, that's why you're doing it." I throw him into the room, and slam the door. YAY! MOOGLE PLAYING WITH ISH NESS TIME!  
  
Wonder exactly how I stole Lulu's moogle? Well, when they first fell out, I sneakily stepped forward while Lulu was yelling at Wakka, and lifter her moogle right off of her. I'm very sneaky!  
  
And very not hyper.  
  
I run into Tori's gameroom, and grab the moogle. "KUPO! MOOGLE!" I hug the moogle so hard it squeaks. Heh. I let it down and sit there, playing with it's pom pom. ISH SO CUTE!  
  
Well, i realize I'm not so hyper anymore. Dang. Where did David put his caffinated drinks?  
  
I step over the drunk Auron to a case of blue bottles in the corner. I pull one out and untwist the cap, letting the carbonation go "Sssssssss". I love that sound.  
  
Then my subconcious started being annoying.  
  
::That's not a good idea, Mary. You know David loves his caffine, he'll be mad that you're stealing it! You shouldn't do that-::  
  
I whacked myself. She shut up.  
  
"Ahh. Good ol' Bawls. I always can use you when I need a caffine boost!" Before i can lift it to my lips, David is sitting there, looking at me from the doorway. I swear, he has super hearing.  
  
"That's mine. MY CAFFINE!" I jump out of the way, and grab my moogle. MY MOOGLE! THAT'S RIGHT! I chugg the drink and throw the empty bottle down. I swoon for a second, then shake my head. YES! HYPER!  
  
Just my luck David leaving would bring Tori. And Alec. Then Everyone else.  
  
"YOU!" Lulu has a very high peircing voice when she screams. I look up at her, pointing a finger towards me. I know she wants her moogle, but I just can't resist. Im MARY!  
  
So i walk up to Lulu, and start poking her finger. She doesn't get why I'm doing that, and instead of being annoyed, I think i'm actually frightening her.  
  
HOORAY! My day is never complete until I've terrified a total stranger!  
  
So I decide to poke her nifty hair.  
  
"WOW! ITS LULU!" I'm sitting there, wide-eyed, poking Lulu. Everyone's looking at me with a look like 'Oh, that girl's gonna get it now.' Right. Like Lulu would actually hurt me. Tori's just shaking her head saying 'Oh-no'. David is drinking his drink. Alec and Tidus are staring at each other. Rikku is dissembling Tori's stereo. OO she won't like that. Yuna's walking around. Wakka is staring at me.  
  
"Ya, hey girl?" He whispers in my ear. "I dun think that's a very good idea, ya?"  
  
Well, when people try and stop me from poking, I get mad. VERY MAD. Even at wakka! MY HERO!  
  
"MAYBE I SHOULD START POKING YOU INSTEAD, HUH?!?! WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! IM NOT MUFFINY ENOUGH TO POKE A MUFFIN?!" Now Wakka's staring at me. I-I think I scared him.  
  
Damn, why do I always do that?  
  
"Cmon, Mary, let's get you some help, maybe you can talk to the sock or something.." Tori takes my arm.  
  
"But-but, pokieness, and Lulu, and-" I look back at Lulu. She's staring at me, then at her moogle. I stick out my tounge. She looks anrgy now.  
  
"Did you say sock? HOT DOG!"  
  
Well, that's from my point of view. I'm going to go argue with the sock, away from Lulu. I really don't want to have to hurt her today. I hurt Alec.  
  
WOW! ITS A SOCK!  
  
------  
  
Tori: Yes! She's gone!  
  
Mary: *poke*  
  
Tori: AHH! DONT DO THAT!  
  
Mary: Well, how did you like? yeah, it won't make sense, and I'll probably scare a lot off, but that's worth it!  
  
Tori: You are so dead, Mary!  
  
Mary: SURE I AM! *runs away*  
  
Tori: that was sure odd. Well, yes, there is no chapter four. this is just a filler. i let mary do it cause she was at my house, hyper, and had my computer. Comments, if you havent run off yet. 


	5. There's No Place Like Home

Disclaimer: Well, I sold 1/10 of my soul today, so now I can safely say that I only own 9/10 of myself. *thinks for a bit* That's a bad thing isn't it? *groans*   
  
So, I don't own anything that has to do with Final Fantasy X, unless I buy like .0000000001% of their stock...*evil grin* *shifty eyes*   
  
A/N: *huggles all reveiwers* YOU GUYS ROCK! *sends all boxes of pixy stix* Stay uber cool!  
  
Am v. sorry it took so long to update. -sweatdrop- But I do hope this one is funny, I really do. *grabs sugary sorces & guzzles* Don't mind the insanity...:D  
  
Er, another quick note: Tidus is pronouced "TEE-dus" because of the japanese language. Titus is pronouced the way Tidus is read--short I (I think..). And "Beeters" is spelled that way on purpose. Don't try to correct me. (State (btw, this is in UTAH) symbol is some beehive for "industry" so I did a play on words.)   
  
Anywho, that'll be all.  
  
~~~~~~~~On with the story.  
  
I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning against the door of my room. I could FINALLY get dressed for the con...if I knew what I was going as. Taking tin foil and my whacky-stick, I created a very crude, but somehow accurate staff. Admiring my handiwork, I grabbed my robe from the hanger, made a quick summoner costume and walked out to see Mary dressed like a moogle and Lulu's battle aura sparking.   
  
Yes, I can get dressed that quickly.  
  
Yuna stared at me, then my staff. Back to me, then to my staff. Impressed with my skills? Nah, don't think so.   
  
She whispered something to Tidus, then Tidus whispered to Wakka, Wakka to Kimahri, Kimahri in broken speech to the drunk Auron who had to have whatever the message was repeated five times, and then Auron to Lulu who didn't pay any attention to him and continued to glare at Mary who just sat there looking 'innocent'. Yeah! Go her!  
  
So instead of Lulu relaying the message to the proper person, Auron the Great Drunk had to. Gods, don't want to be in their position.   
  
Fortunatly Yuna noticed this, and began the original idea relay to me.   
  
Wait. Me? What's going on here...it's my story!   
  
"Uh...Lady...Tori? Is it?...I was wondering if--Are you a summoner as well?"  
  
Mary burst out laughing at the thought, David tried to hold back laughter v. poorly, and I flushed bright red and opened my mouth to say something but before I could, Tidus numero Dos felt it was his time to speak:  
  
"Oh yeah! you know it! We're just resting at this inn for a bit and then continuing on our pilgramage. I'm Titus, Star of the Salt Lake Beeters a.k.a. King! One of Lady Tori's guardians. This is Creena," he pointed to Mary, "and Davie. They're both guardians as well."   
  
I gaped at Alec. I don't wanna be a summoner! Noo! *beats fist against cell wall* Let me out! Next you know, I'll have to summon an AEON. Alec! You FOOL!  
  
David and Mary just went along with it. I sighed and followed suit, no matter the cost. I would find a way somehow. We'll see if Yuna can summon here first. Heheh...*shifty eyes*   
  
Oh wait...this is a story, right? Yeah, back to the plot line.  
  
I stared at Alec, or "Titus, a.k.a. King, Star of the Salt Lake Beeters" as if I was trying to burn holes in his head after he suggested we continued on our supposed "pilgramage" to the anime convention. I opened the front door with a sigh, and walked out into the bright sunlight, and instead of my front yard, I saw the deck of a ship. A very familiar ship indeed. Wait. It wasn't possible. It couldn't have happend like this!   
  
We....were in Zanarkand...Tidus' Zanarkand. 


	6. Tori goes insane, Mary and Lulu relate, ...

Disclaimer:  
  
[You see a blinking message machine on a wooden table.]  
  
Messsage Machine: *Beep!* *Beep!* New Message!  
  
[Tori crawls out of bed to check what it is. She has been very tired lately, and cannot focus on sleeping if something is beeping in her ear.]  
  
Tori: *pokes the button* I've got mail!  
  
Message Machine: "Hello, my name is Cellie-chan and I am now sueing you for saying that you own 9/10ths of your soul. I, as of now, own 1/2. Ha! DOOOM!" *click*   
  
Tori: O.O NOOOO! X.x *dies over unfinished fan fic*  
  
[Then, magical Yuna comes and pokes Tori in the head with her finger of life.]  
  
Tori: GASP! AIR!  
  
FINALFANTASYISCOPYWRITESQUARESOFT/ENIXASOFFIFTEENMINUTESAGO!  
  
TORIDOESNOTOWNTIDUS,AURON,MOOGLES,KIMAHRISBADBREATH,LULU,WAKKA,BLITZBALL,ZANARKAND,ANDOTHERTHINGSTHATARECOPYWRITEDBYTHESPIFFYCOMPANYTHATBRINGSUSTHEMAGICALBISHONEN. Arigatou Gasiamasta! *bow and wanders off*  
  
Yuna: *wonders if she needs to be sent to the farplane and scurries off after her*  
  
[End Disclaimer]  
  
[Tori-Talks-To-You-And-Tells-You-Random-Things Time. Brought to you by Doughnuts! Wonderful Sugary Substances!]   
  
Hi! If you need a translation for my long shpeil above, you'll have to rescue the missing 1/2 of my soul. A quest for all ye wonderful reveiwers! Supported by Sugar! Free Bags and the Translation to anyone who finds it! [Here souly-souly...C'mere girl!] Nehoo...Sorry to leave you all hanging on the last chapter.... I was kinda dead when I wrote it...o.o But, this one should be better...On to my comments about my lovely reveiws...!  
  
Oh, and btw, I got the idea about my disclaimer from frodos girl. ^ ^ You ish spiftacular!  
  
Aseku--Dude. Laven's a rock? HOW SPIFFY! *glomps the rock* That is way coolio. Thenkee for the comments! I feel so loved! *sniff sniff*  
  
G. M. FFX--Aiiieeee! Ecchi! *boinks him with her whacky stick! Not another pervert!! ;_; And I don't intend on sending you sugar...O.O It might destroy the world....And stay away from my dress! *nother boink*   
  
Virgo Dragon--Yeah, wasn't wacky stick the greatest? xD My own creation...  
  
Cryptic Dragon--NO, you cannot take Tidus! My bishonen! *glomps Tidus' clone and Tidus*   
  
Tidus: *begins to talk about himself*  
  
Well...maybe for a bit...  
  
Nehoo... be one with my fanfic!  
  
[The thing that this whole txt file is actually ment for.]  
  
Oh. My. God. Thus, I screamed.  
  
Mary poked.  
  
Tidus2 gaped.  
  
Tidus danced.   
  
David gaped.  
  
Auron scoffed.  
  
Lulu stared.  
  
Wakka started ranting about 'machina'.  
  
Yuna gasped.  
  
Rikku suppressed the urge to take things apart.  
  
And Kitty-man just sat there.   
  
"Wait." I exclaimed, "This can't be happening, it's all a dream, yeah, that's right. Salt Lake couldn't become Zanarkand overnight!"   
  
"Well, it sure looks like Zanarkand to me," Auron the now-sober told us, "I did have to look after the cry baby for ten years here."   
  
Apparently Tidus wasn't paying attention and continued screaming: "I'm home! Zanarkand! Blitzball! HOME!" in a very annoying fashion.   
  
"What's beyond me," Lulu began as she sent her Space Power to attack Wakka, "is why this has to be the Idiots home in the first place."  
  
Mary nodded in agreement. She was always against the Tidus'. "You know Lulu, for a moogle hogging crazy lady, you're actually right for once. I mean, why does _he_ get all the good stuff and you guys in Spira get nul, ya?"  
  
As Lulu tried to figured out whether this was a compliment or an insult, I took a moment to prove to them all that this couldn't be Zanarkand.   
  
I walked towards the now Tidus' door that we just arrived thru and prayed that everything was still normal inside. My computer, my dead playstation, etc.   
  
I decided I'd have to announce it to actually make it work. "Hey! Everyone! Spira people! Look! I can _prove_ this isn't Zanarkand! Watch!" I opened the door to reveal a very Zanarkand looking house. Dammit, why do these things never work out for me?  
  
Fortunatly, I was too short for them to notice my insolent crys. Or they were too busy scoping out the spiftacular place.   
  
All of a sudden a very familiar voice reaches my ears:   
  
"Tooooori-chan....! Tooooooriii-chan!!"   
  
Yes, very familiar indeed...I felt like I should scout out the voice, maybe it was someone I knew! How niftycool!  
  
I broke from the group without them noticing. Very hard for people when Lulu and Mary are arguing/relating, Wakka's having a boob obbsession moment, Rikku and Chibi Tidus are flirting, Auron and David are talking about various types of caffeine, Tidus is giving Yuna the "grand tour" of his house, and Kitty-man is just obsolete. (Man, someone has to be voted of the island and quick or I might have a mental break down!)  
  
And just guess who was walking up the, ahem, dock. Cellie-chan, my partner in cosplaying crime. Just another person to add to my over augmented cast of people.  
  
I almost winced in discomfort. My head was already about to explode due to keeping track of everyone, and now another person has to show up. Auuuurgh....x.x   
  
"Tori-chan! I found you!" She screeched and glomped me right that instant, "I can't believe we're in Zanarkand! Awesome, ne?"  
  
"Cellie-chan!" I screeched in return. Another body. But a funny one! "Nee, is my brother with you? He said he'd be with you when I went to the convention..."   
  
"Nah, I couldn't find him after Salt Lake went poof."  
  
Hmm...interesting...why had Cellie come thru? Was there another portal somehwere? If there is I must find it cause I wanna go HOME!  
  
[End the spiffy txt file]  
  
[Yadda, yadda, and all that jazz]  
  
Yeah, ok, that chapter really sucks. But, due to the circumstances, you, the reveiwers, getta vote someone off the boat! But, the following people have immunity:  
  
Tidus, Yuna, Lulu, and Me  
  
So, the following people you can freely push off the boat, but, I should warn you, two won't come back...:  
  
Mary, Cellie, David, Tidus2, Auron, Kimahri, and Wakka. *hopes that her favorites don't go*  
  
Anyway....um...well...review! Fweelaa! *gives everyone shiny foil* 


	7. Weakest Link, Boss Fights, Chincellos, C...

[Crazy Thing So I'm Not Sued]  
  
Tori: *frantically looks for her other half of her soul* Nyooo! I knew I shouldn't have sold it! All for that five dollars for DDR! Cellie-chan! You're so evil! *attacks the closet and stuff begins to fly everywhere*  
  
Cellie: Bwahahahahaha!! *dances around with the check for five dollars* I have Tori's half soul...I have Tori's half soooooooouuulllll! Nyahahaha!  
  
Tidus: *is being dragged away by Cryptic Dragon with duct tape over his mouth* Dory!! Hulf meh!! [Translation: Toriii! Help me!]  
  
Titus: *is admiring himself in the mirror and is too busy to hear anything else* La la la...I'm the king...oh yeah, I'm the King, the best of all...la la la...Oh yeah, Tori doesn't own Me or my Clone, or my dear Rikku, or anyone else that happens to be in this fanfic except herself--well, half. Oh, and Cowboy Bebop and the Matrix.  
  
Wakka: Theif, ya?  
  
[End Crazy Thing So I'm Not Sued]  
  
[Spoon of Doom Confrence Hall Brought to you by Cookie Dough!]  
  
Hello minna-san!! *dances around insanely for a bit then sits down* Currently we're in the spiffy machina city Zanarkand, there are these odd animals named Chickafish and Chincellos that will show up eventually and you will have a boss fight! Fweee! Watch my summoning! ) But unfortunate things happen in the next chapter. According to my crystal ball, two people will not be joining us for the continuance of this lovely little story. ;_; But only _I_ know who will be voted off the...er...boat! The weakest links! Gwahahahaha! Yes...I've had waaaaay too much time on my hands...I actutally watched TV for once! *gasp* It's incrediable! Anyway...I've rambled too long...ya'll are prolly asleep or dead by now...*throws pheniox downs randomly at them* So, wake up, dammit! And let's get on with the story!  
  
Oh, and by the way, this does have a bit of a matrix reloaded spoiler...but I don't think it's gonna matter...just warning you so ye don't flamish me!  
  
[End Spoon of Doom Confrence]  
  
[Begin the Boss fights!]  
  
I sighed and sat near the door in my spiffy summoning dress. The day had gone completely wrong. So depressing...u.u   
  
Cellie was off trying to imitate seymours laugh to scare Yuna and getting severely punished for it when the boat began to shake like a california earthquake. My face fell. It was Sin!! Not here!   
  
I ran into the house while everyone tried to hold on to the boat while Mary ran around yelling insanely: "You _are_ the weakest link! Good-bye!" and trying to push them off. Thankfully she only succeded in pushing off Six people: Wakka, Rikku, David, Cellie, Titus, and Kimahri.   
  
The boat finished shaking after Sin's butt smacked the water, and I came running out to see what happened because inside when everything started shaking around, Tidus and Yuna "somehow" ended up on top of eachother and making out...that's not my favorite sight, by the way...  
  
The deck was almost completely deserted except for a froliking Mary, an even _more_ pissed off Lulu, and a very _wet_ Auron.   
  
I ran up to Mary and began to poke her.   
  
"Tooooori!" she screamed. "I donno what happened! This giant dealy came out of the water and everything was shaking and killing stuff and those feinds I've dubbed the chickafish over there fell off of him and everyone decided it'd be safer in the water so they decided to go poof and I was just running around screaming CHICKAFISH!! and then it all stopped when the dealy's butt smacked everything and now I'm going inside now! Jaaaa!" And she ran inside to come right back out screaming because of the scene I described earlier, and ran right off the boat.   
  
I pulled some towels out of my magic sleve that all the summoners seem to have and handed one to Auron then went over to a steaming Lulu. Apparentlly she had gotten _so_ pissed off she steam dried herself! Wow...that'd be a good thing to learn, ya?  
  
I poked the steaming lady three times before she actually noticed me. "Hey, Lulu, it's not good to smoke. That stuff has tar and all that shit in it, and we know that your baby doesn't want to have lung cancer, ya?"   
  
"What baby?" She skeptically asked me.  
  
  
  
"Oh, wait, I wasn't supposed to say that...heh! Well, I was wondering if you could cast flare and everyone would pop out of the water? Wakka's kinda down there, I know alllll about---" Why do I keep getting ahead of _this_ story? "I mean, er, please?"  
  
"Fine." she said. Gee...is she just stupid or really really illeducated?  
  
She begun to cast flare and Wakka and Rikku sprung out of the water and onto the boat. She cast it again and Cellie and Mary flew out. Cursing because Mary came back, she cast flare again and only Alec/Titus/Tidus2 came back. Mary cursed then. Poor them.   
  
All of a sudden, Lulu ran out of MP.   
  
"Lulu, shouldn't you keep goin?" I nagged and poked her, waiting for David and Kimahri to pop up.   
  
"Can't. My MP is down. Go talk to Yuna for some Elixers." Said the One Syllable Lady.  
  
I growled and stalked off to the cabin, but remembered that they wanted some privacy and walked off. Maybe I should throw myself off the boat?  
  
Whoa...death. Death is not good. Only for Auron.   
  
I only hope they made it back to Spira and Salt Lake...u.u  
  
I walked to the middle of the deck and began to sit down so I could have some time to counsel with my Whacky-stick, but Auron let out a girly scream before I could do anything. I hoped he wet his pants, I really needed this cousel session.   
  
Cellie chan got up and ran towards the girly screaming Auron with Mary, Lulu, Wakka, Rikku, Titus, and I. Tidus and Yuna apparentally hadn't heard him, for the door was still locked when I went to check.   
  
I suddenly heard Cellie scream: "Come to me Chinchello!" and took off to see if this would concern fire and pixy stix.   
  
There were those evil turkey guys from the very begining of the game all lined up around the side of the boat. Lots of 'em, too. Auron was still screamin, and Titus decided he should give the orders. Of course, Mary didn't like this and began to row with him about it and everyone was kinda sitting there wondering what to do. Except Cellie, who decided to be smart and summon her version of Bahamut: The Chinchello. I wondered where she got the thing and looked in my inventory to find little bitty talismans of Cowboy Bebop Ed and Ein, and Agent Smith! Yay! I threw the Ed and Ein up in the air to find them magically pop out of a spiffy thing of light. [By the way, if you've never seen or heard of Ed: She's this way nifty cool hacker girl in the anime Cowboy Bebop with this amazing dog named Ein who she talks to. :) So I made a double attack out of them, kinda like Yojimbo.]   
  
Ed jumped up and began to type onto her computer as she sent Ein to do a 'Daigoro' type of thing.   
  
Ein 800 damage   
  
Ed finished typing and the three that Ein had just weakened exploded with uber shiny cool-ness. Fweee~ I like this summoning thing. They continued their attack on the next three to attack them, earning more turns when they finally got to their overdrive. Ed smiled an insane grin as she magically got Pocky [Japanese candy] out of her computer, fed it to Ein, typed something totally insane on her computer, then sat back as Ein spit the pocky at 15 different monsters, daigoro-ed them, then sat back as Ed cued the explosion, which also delt damage to enemies beside the poor unfortunate Turky things. Bwahaha!  
  
Cellie chan stared at me while her Chincello did his boring Mega Flare and destroyed the rest of the turkey deals. I beamed at my nifty Edward and dissmissed them and they popped back into a little talisman again. I couldn't wait to try Agent Smith. I figured that he would start to go around and attempt to turn the enemy into his spiffy clone, then have the clone explode randomly. Whoa! That'd be way cool!   
  
All of a sudden I was uber hyper. This is a first in this story, so you better damn applaud! (*needs a spell check*)   
  
Maybe it was the battle victory, or my awesome aeons that no one else had, or something else, but that didn't matter. I had my awesome summoning Nunchakus, A.K.A. The whacky stick broken in two when I want to get all fancy-like (don't worry, it goes back together), and I had time for my counseling session! Hopefully Mary would disturb me.... Yeah, like that's gonna happen! Heehee...  
  
Well, Lulu was standing looking blankly around, Wakka was staring at the Blitzball stadium that was ironically right _next_ to Tidus' house, Tidus & Yuna were probably _still_ doing naughty things in the woods, and Titus and Rikku were nowhere to be seen. Damn. Did they follow suit of Tidus and Yuna? *gaspers* I never knew! Auron, was contemplating death, I think, and Mary and Cellie were talking about Chickafish, Chincellos, and Chocomogs. Go them!   
  
I sat down with the Whacky stick. I loved this thing. I could whack people with it....and whack people with it!   
  
"Hellowi Mister Whacky Thingsors!" I said happily to the stick that was now on my lap.   
  
It didn't say anything back.  
  
"Well, today was freeky deeky. I was thought a summoner, we all ended up in Zanarkand with people who were oblivious and from Spira, 'cept for the bishonen. I think Bahamut or Shiva or someone has something against me, though. That's probably why we're here. Oh, and David and Kimahri fell off the boat. I miss the former, not the latter mind you. Kitty-man was creepyfied. He would breathe in my face and the KAPLOW! I was dead! Good mechanism for killing enemies though...too bad we couldn't test it out...ya?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Dammit! Why aren't you _counseling_ me like you used to, Whacky-sama?! Is Zanarkand nulling your power like it's the insane deal it is? I'm confuzzled. Helpy Me!"  
  
More Silence.  
  
I give up.  
  
[End The Boss Fightsors]  
  
[An Ending Note Deal]  
  
Wow. I was _hyper_! And _insane_! Great isn't it? ^_^ Fwee~ Well, hope ye enjoyed it! Reveiw, reveiw, reveiw!  
  
Actually I don't care...but it's nice to get them anyway, right?  
  
[End Ending Note Deal] 


End file.
